As my twenties came to an end, I’ve felt all the feels and have spent a lot of time reflecting about the past decade and everything I’ve learned along the way as I prepare to enter my thirties. I used to dread aging when I was younger, the fear of being considered “old” and all of the terrible things society tells us about what it means to get older (especially as a woman). But at the same time I’ve always viewed aging as a privilege and choose to celebrate each year of life and what it has to offer. And the truth is, I am SO excited for my thirties. The older I get, the more I appreciate life and the person I am becoming. I know myself better, what I want, and what I don’t want.

My twenties were some of the best and worst years of my life. It was a decade filled with fun and freedom, but also loss and confusion, all while growing and evolving into the person I am today. After taking some time to think about the biggest lessons from my twenties, I wrote this list from a place of genuine reflection and love. While this list is purely based off of my personal experience, I hope these little lessons can give you some hope for the future and get you excited for your thirties.

1. Time is our most non-renewable resource. You will never have enough of it. The older I get, the more I realize that time is fleeting and it is the one thing we can never have enough of. If my twenties taught me one thing I value more than anything, it’s to have as much time as possible to do the things that I love and to enjoy the best things this life has to offer.
2. You’re never too old to learn new things or try something new. The one thing I never wanna stop doing as I age is learn new things. You are never too old to pick up a new hobby, learn a new skill, go back to school or even start a new career.
3. Wear sunscreen every day. Sun protection is so important even if you’re inside or if it’s in the dead of winter. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about skincare, it’s to just wear the damn sunscreen.
4. It’s okay to change your mind about something you thought you once wanted. When you’re young, you think you have your whole life figured out and know what you want. And sometimes you are so dead set on your vision that you refuse to change your mind or stay open to other possibilities. But changing your mind about what you thought you once wanted can turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Because as you get older, you know yourself better and have more life experience to make decisions to become the person you actually want to be. I’ve learned that changing your mind is not a bad thing but rather a sign that you are growing and evolving into the person you are meant to be.
5. Travelling will change your perspective and worldview in the best possible way. When you travel to new cities or countries, you learn more about other cultures and gain a new perspective on life, on top of seeing all the beauty this world has. I was bit by the travel bug many years ago and although I didn’t travel to as many places as I hoped to in my twenties, I know that you can travel at any age and I hope to travel to so many places in my thirties and beyond.
6. Celebrate your wins no matter how small you think they are. There are so many things to celebrate as an adult outside of societal expectations and milestones. It’s so important to celebrate all of your wins, especially the ones you don’t think are a big deal, because they all deserve to be celebrated.
7. Take care of your mental health. Mental health is just as important as physical health and you should never feel guilty for making your mental health a priority. There are so many resources available and remember that you are not alone.
8. Do not compare your life to others. There’s a reason they say comparison is the thief of joy. In the age of social media, where everyone shares the highlight reels of their lives, it’s almost inevitable not to compare your life to others. But it’s important to remember that social media is truly a highlight reel and oftentimes people aren’t sharing their struggles or failures. Your life and your timeline are your own and it is still beautiful.
9. Failure is not the worst thing that can happen to you. When you’re young, failing can feel like the worst thing in the world. We internalize failure as a sign of not being good enough when in reality it’s just a part of life. It can be difficult to talk about our failures, but even the most successful people have failed at something. I’ve learned so much through my failures and they have definitely shaped the woman I am today.
10. It’s okay to not know what you want. Life can be so confusing, especially in your twenties, as society makes us feel like we’re supposed to have our whole life figured out by the time we’re 30. But the reality is that we’re not supposed to have it all figured out and it’s very common to feel lost and unsure of yourself as you navigate adulthood and question everything. Your twenties are for experimenting, trying new things, failing and trying again. It’s a lot of trial and error and your real life experiences end up shaping the person you are. So if you feel lost in your twenties, just know that you are not alone and remember to trust the timing of your life.
11. Read as many books as possible. Reading is one of the best ways to stimulate your brain and learn new things. There are so many books out there and so many different genres that I’m confident anyone can find a book they’d enjoy reading. While the list of books I want to read keeps getting longer, (que my never ending TBR on Goodreads), I hope to read as many books and stories as I can in this lifetime. Side note: for my fellow book lovers, I also have a bookstagram you can follow @stephaniesnextchapter where I share all of the books I’m currently reading.
12. The kind of love you desire exists. Dating in your twenties can be a rollercoaster at times and not quite what you expected. In the era of dating apps, ghosting, and unclear intentions it can be easy to get discouraged and hopeless at times. But I promise that the love you desire is out there for you, if you want it. It might take some trial and error but I promise you it exists.
13. Friendships will evolve over time because you are evolving over time. It’s natural for friendships to change and evolve as you get older. Priorities change and everyone can start to be in different phases of life. I’ve learned it’s important to nurture your friendships and while you and your friends may be in different phases of life, they are all beautiful.
14. It’s never too late to start over or change your life path. Despite what society would have you believe, it is never too late to start over or change your life. You can go back to school at any age, move to a new city, or change your career at any time. A part of getting older is learning more about yourself, your values, and what makes you happy. We’re supposed to evolve and change. And it’s never too late to go after your dreams or start a whole new life.
15. You are not defined by your job or career. Typically one of the first things someone asks is what you do for a living. We spend so much time at work that our job can slowly become our identity. But if we attach ourselves to what we do for work, we become lost if that suddenly gets taken away. You are not defined by your job title or what you do for a living. You are a multifaceted human being and only you can define yourself.
16. Document as many moments as possible but remember to stay present. Taking pictures and videos might feel annoying in the moment but I promise you will never regret documenting your life. Document as much as you can and you’ll have those memories for a lifetime.
17. Everyone has their own definition of success. For some people success is working a 9-5 job. For others, success is getting married and having kids. Or success might be travelling the world and experiencing all life has to offer. As you age and go through your own experiences, you discover what your version of success looks like. And at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.
18. Always be kind because you never know what someone is going through. There are so many challenges and difficult things that happen in life that people don’t talk about or share publicly. Someone’s life might look perfect on the outside but they could be going through the most difficult circumstances behind closed doors. As someone who has gone through her fair share of struggles, I know how easy it can be to put on a happy face when you’re going through some of the most challenging of circumstances. So please always be kind because you truly never know what someone is going through.
19. Focus on the things you can control and make peace with the things you can’t. We think we have so much control over our lives but as we get older we start to realize that there is very little we have control over. By focusing on the things we can’t control, we are actively adding more stress and anxiety to our lives. But if we release all of that and instead focus on the things we can control, we can make room for more joy and feel an overall sense of peace in our lives.  
20. Happiness is a choice. We think that happiness is some sort of destination, that one day we’ll wake up and feel this overwhelming sense of peace and joy. But as you get older, you will learn that even after you’ve achieved everything you think you should, that happiness never comes and you’re just chasing the next big thing. Over time you learn that happiness is really in the small things, not the really big things. And even if your life isn’t filled with the things society says you should have, you can choose every day to be happy. Because happiness is something you create, not something you stumble upon.
21. You don’t have to explain yourself to others. It’s okay to be misunderstood. Throughout most of my life, I’ve always felt the need to explain myself to others. Over time, I’ve learned that this is the result of people projecting their own insecurities and fears onto you. But only you know what’s best for you and so you must make decisions that feel right to you and not let other people’s opinions get in the way.
22. Nobody knows what they’re doing. I remember being a kid and seeing all the adults around me and thinking they had it all together. Now that I’m adult, I realize that nobody has any idea what they’re doing and we’re mostly just winging it half the time.
23. Always stay curious. Curiosity is something I’ve noticed we start to lose as we get older. People start to ask less questions and instead do things without asking why. Staying curious in life while being respectful and kind will help to always have an open mind.
24. Life is meant to be enjoyed. As simple as that sounds, I think it’s also something we tend to forget as adults. Between work and the stress of everyday life, we should not feel guilty for resting, taking a vacation, or doing more things that make us happy.
25. You owe it to yourself to follow your dreams, no matter how scary they may seem. Following your dreams can be a lonely journey often filled with fear, self-doubt, and rejection. But despite all of the reasons you tell yourself not to go after them, you should face the fear and do it anyways. You owe it yourself to follow your dreams. Make your younger self proud.
26. Everyone will have an opinion about your life no matter how much you share about it. This is probably the biggest lesson I’ve learned in my twenties. With social media showcasing everyone’s lives and highlight reels, it can feel like we know people even if we’ve never met them or talk to them regularly. By sharing your life, you automatically open the door for people to have opinions about it. The kicker is that even if you don’t post or share your life online, people will still have an opinion about it. So share what you want and don’t worry about what other people are thinking. Because it’s your life and you have to live it for you.
27. Make more time to do the things you love and bring you joy. Life can be confusing, overwhelming, and hard. Which is why it’s so important to carve out time in our busy lives to do things we enjoy. Make a list of things you love and do more of those things.
28. Aging is a privilege. For some reason our society makes aging seem like a bad thing when it’s actually the complete opposite. This obsession with preserving our youth and being forever young is a myth and is truly something you learn as you age. I remember being 21 thinking that 30 was so old but now that I’m here I realize that 30 is SO young in the grand scheme of life and there is still so much to look forward to. This is also why I love celebrating birthdays because every year is another opportunity to experience new things and make new memories. If you’re reading this in your twenties, let this be your reminder that the best years are to come and aging is a privilege.
29. Your younger self is still deep inside you. The older I get, the more I think back to my younger self and how our younger selves are still a part of us. At the end of the day, I hope I make her proud.
30. It’s okay if your life doesn’t look like you thought it would by thirty. Thirty is still so young and your life is only getting started. So even if you haven’t achieved everything you thought you would by this age, you still have so much time to do and see and achieve all the things you want to in this lifetime. And I have a feeling my thirties are going to be the best decade yet.

With love,